Potholes

"Why does all the work come to me?"

This is probably one of the most commonly heard. And you start defining your job scope, building up barriers to prevent your colleagues from stepping over you. You may even start monitoring what your colleagues are doing and you probably conclude that they are doing less than you. You lost the compassion for another soul who is also suffering and the patience to work out communication with the other.

You may even start making personal judgement about what they should be doing but did not do, or should not be doing when they did. And making all sorts of judgement against this person. The spiral continues over time, building up the walls, brick by brick, thickening the cement layer by layer until you are so wrapped up in the "I", surrounded by the layers.

Suffocated and breathless, you know you are trapped in the pothole, with no room for breathing and communicating.

Everyone knows (hopefully) what the good traits are: compassion, patience, generosity, diligence but it is so easy to lapse into the potholes that are lying around the path if one is not careful.

OMAK: the best panecea for the fault-finding mind. Practise OMAK faithfully, and it will help you from falling into another pothole.

WHDR 2010

There is no way I could miss this event, the two things closest to my heart, hospice work and cycling.

It was great to see the cycling kakis again - LG, Je, M, MJ, DH. There were about 100 cyclists I estimated from different cycling groups. You could tell from the cycling dry fit that they wore. It was great that they have rounded up their cyclists to participate in this event. There is even a group made up of foldable bikes. Though mainly Brompton, but there are others as well. I wondered how fast they can go with the wheels so much smaller than mine.

I asked LG why is it that none of the Bikeaid member never thought of setting up a cycling shop especially him as he likes bicycles and cycling?

"Then we will not be called Bike aid but Bike shop oreadi."

I can't think of a more appropriate reply and at that moment, I am really glad that none of the Bikeaid member has set up a cycling shop.

The route was a bit nerve-racking though. It was a saturday and we went down Lavender road, Beach Road and North Bridge. The sweeper was shouting his lungs out to gather the laggards together and the group dispersed everytime we hit a traffic light. It was with great relief that we hit the Keppel Road where the traffic eased off a little.

The ride took me down memory lane. Where it used to be marshes and open area, there stood now buildings and factories. The flat that used to be vacant are now occupied and the area is lively with activities.

Sounds of drums reached our ears as we approached St Joseph's Home. The old folks, the nurses and sisters welcome us with friendly drums. They have also prepared some pretty flower tags for us as a token of their appreciation.

I felt a bit deja vu as I recollected the scene many years ago on that same ride. The rain and thunderstorm that escorted us all the way, and the warm cheers that greeted us when we reached.

Some good hearted soul has taught the residents how to play the drums, and it was amazing how a tut or two from everyone can form a band and make wondrous music. The uncles and aunties were quite proud to show case their skills, and I definitely enjoyed myself playing the drums with them.

The thoughtful gesture that means so much, and filled with so much love for the resident. St Jospeh Home is a home of love.

DIVE!!

It was a japanese movie. And one that talks about diving, and the inaugural youth olympics was just over. So I was curious and excited enough to stay up to catch the show.

But the movie was fantastic! The storyline was so well carved.

A teenage boy, excited about the expectations put on him, was driven to fulfil that expectation. He was undaunted that he had no experience, there was already someone who has been chosen, but concerned only by the unlimited possibility that he is able to be THE one to represent the club at the Olympics. The belief the coach has on him, the belief in himself, drives him to train hard to be good at the Diving.

The second boy was borned into a Diving family. His coach is his father who knows the game. He was the chosen one, the club's only hope to send him to represent the club. The game was to score. It does not matter that he does not do many styles, but he is required to just do his best in what he knows.

The third boy has a great diving skills inherited from his grandfather. He dives in the ocean, not in the pool. He dives to live his grandfather's dreams, to relive the glory of his grandfather. But he soon learns to dive for himself.

Every child with different skills, with different motivations, but common dreams. But it was the competition from each other that drives them to better each other and better themselves.

A simple story so beautifully structured that talks about the problems of a teenager in different context. A little town in japan, where they are not confined by where they are, as only their minds are their limits, and excelling in what they do helps them to break that limits.

A movie with a great tale, not to be missed.

The cafeteria was abuzzed with excitement. Some were looking at the works of the Venerable, some were waiting anxiously for their friends, some with tags are people attending the retreat. The air was tingling with anticipation.

Once in the hall, the serenity overcomes you. There was a venerable on stage playing the cello, another the violin. There were two venerables who came on stage to guide us through two songs. It has been a long time since I sang the song and it came back to me how calming the song is, opening out our heart to ourselves.

Breathing in breathing out

Breathing in, breathing out. Breathing in, breathing out.

Iam blooming as a flower. I am fresh as a dew.

I am solid as a mountain, I am firm as the earth.

I am free.

Breathing in, breathing out. Breathing in, breathing out.

I am water, reflecting, what is real, what is true.

And I feel, there is space, deep inside of me.

I am free, I am free, I am free.

Happiness is Here and Now

Happiness is here and now. I have dropped my worries.

Nowhere to go. Nothing to do.

No longer in a hurry.

Happiness is here and now. I have dropped my worries.

Somewhere to go. Something to do.

But I dont need to hurry.

Venerable Thich Nhat Hanh walked in with stately presence. Peacefully and mindful of every step. His disciples gathered around him on stage. There were no laughing and running, just gentle smiles and great calmness.

I had a few take aways from that night:-
1) Since tehre is no beginning and no end, and life is just a continuous evolvement, there is no fear for beginning or end, and what is more important is the present moment;
2) When are you alive in the present moment, you are living the buddha in yourself;
3) Just like there is no flower, but the sun, the water, the farmer, the florist, without which there is no existence of flower, there is no me, but my parents, my ancestors, my education, my food, my experience. Nothing exists on its own, but interdependence of each other.
4) So where is the inferiority complex, the superiority complex, when in actual fact, there is no self.

It was ten and the audience was getting fidgety. I was hungry for more of his wisdom, his reminders. Listening to him beat reading his books, and the essence will not be the same. I wish I had signed up for his retreat. but guess we had too much baggage with us, or are we still not clear of what we want.

The talk ended with a French song by sister Chan Khong. It was an enchanting son to end an enchanting night.

http://vimeo.com/14881907

Die hard Hikers

Pitter-patter, pitter-patter. The sound of the rain loomed thunderously from above. The forest looked dark and I could not see anyone in front of me. The sound of the rain grew louder, but the droplets barely hit me, sheltered by the canopy above me.

I was between two minds. Should I turned out to the main road at the next turning, or should I continue my trail?

The sound of chatterings reached my ears and I saw flashes of red and blue in front of me. Two ladies were carrying a red and blue umbrella each. Deep in their conversation, they were totally unperturbed by the rain that was falling around them. They made way for me to overtake them and I passed by them silently. The chattering echoed into silence as I increased the distance between us. Seemed like I am not the only crazy hiker around.

It was another few minutes before I heard hurried footsteps behind me. I was making my way down a slope that had turned muddy. At the first opportunity that I got, I stood to one side to make way for him. The guy was dressed in dri-fit sleeveless shirt and carrying a bottle of water. He was obviously on his exercise routine. I soon lost sight of him.

Another few minutes passed before I saw another flash in a distant. It was another lone ranger carrying a red back pack. I could not catch up with him and we maintained a respectable distance.

The thunderstorm showed no signs of relenting. I was totally drenched from both the perspiration and the rain. The trekker turned into Diary Farm Trail. He was obviously not going to let the rain disrupt with his routine. The sign board looked new. Was that a new trail, or had it escaped my notice in the past. It was not a trail that I was familiar with and I continued with my path.

I passed by a few shelters. There were some trekkers taking a break from the trek and the rain. I continued my path and soon reached the challenging steps. I was both relieved and fearful. I had come to the most challenging portion of the whole trail, but also the end of the trail. I quickly made my way up, mindful of the slippery steps. It had been a month since I last took to these steps, and I was panting heavily. But it felt good to be breathing deeply after a month. The air in the rain smell so refreshing and cooling.

A huge crowd gathered at the shelter at the top of the steps. Everyone was happy to take the break from the trail and the rain. The rain still showed no signs of lightening, if not it seemed to rain heavier. I could imagine my bike totally wet and totally safe. I doubt any one would risk stealling a bike in this rain. Mindful of the time, I left the shelter and made my way to the main road.

As I was walking down the main road, I saw couples making their way to the summit. There were also trekkers covered in rain coat and just starting their trek. They were totally undeterred by the heavy rain that was pouring so fiercely around them.

Rain or shine. I will be here. These are really the die-hard hikers.

MYOB

Mind Your Own Business. These words carry an extremely nasty connotation. It is rude and unfriendly. It is asking uninvited nosey pokers to steer clear of you and keep their comments and opinions to themselves. Help is not wanted. Comments are not welcome.

Mind Your Own Business. It can also mean that you are cold and aloof. You are totally indifferent to things that are happening around you, even with things that you should be concerned about. You are unhelpful and unsympathetic. You care only about yourself.

One get criticise when you do not mind your own business. One also get criticised when you are minding your own business. But all these issues arise because there is someone who is not minding their own business, but minding whether your are minding your own business or not.

Mind your own business may sound indifferent and aloof. But it is probably one of the wisest phrase around. For most of the world's unhappiness start from people not minding their own business.

How often have we heard complaints about colleagues not doing their work, siblings not helping with household chores, teachers and religious leaders not behaving in a manner befitting of their status, the wealthy not extending their help when they are able to, the police not putting in their best to catch the thieves, the way the roads are designed and the list continues.

The negativity that was expounded in the discourse is tremendous and it will spiral upwards. The person who lodged the complaint is extremely unhappy with the state of affairs. The person at the brunt of the onslaught of complaints will be extremely anxious with the comments and opinions over his choice of action/ inaction. There is a likelihood that his choice of action may be influenced by public opinion rather than the most logical action.

MYOB is a golden phrase. If you focus on doing your role and your tasks well, there will be less complaints about you. If you are the best at what you do, people will come running to you even without you asking for it. So mind your own business today, and stop minding other people's business.

Generation Gap

The smell of ointment reached my nose the moment I entered the room. The sea of grey greeted my eyes. But the cheerful voice of the emcee and the lively atmosphere belied the age of the audience.

"Aunty, why do you sigh?"

"I am in a dilemna. I have two sons-in-law. One is a lime juice seller, the other is a herbal soup seller. On sunny day, the lime juice seller will have good business. On rainy day, the business of the herbal soup seller will be good, but not the lime juice seller. I really do not know whether I should be happy or sad."

"Aunty, you should be happy that you have two sons-in-laws who have a decent livelihoods. Why do you choose to look at the darker side of things? In any case, all kids will have their own destiny, you dont have to worry so much for them."

"Sigh. How come I not worry for them. They are my kids. But I will heed your words and look at the brighter side of things."

The play received a resounding applause from the audience. The words strike my heart. It was probably the sentiments of my mom. I could see that she enjoyed the whole play and finally she found someone who can sympathise with her feelings. For a moment, I also realised that I never understood her feelings as a mother. Things may seem right and logical, but it may be very hard for a mother to accept and not to worry.

The play was followed by a heart warming hokkien song with hand movements and the whole session ended with dedication, a birthday celebration and lunch. It was an extremely enriching morning.